What shopper in their right minds would order “Random Crap” from an etailer who describes the offering thusly:
Little do they know, when their packages arrive
They’ll open them up and exclaim, “What’s this jive?
“I thought I might get a giant-screen TV
Or at least a pair of sunglasses that play MP3s.”
Instead they’ll find garbage that the city dump
Rejected, so we sold it to you chumps.
And so we exclaim, to those let down by their loot:
“Merry Crapmas to all, and to all a crappy woot!”
Hordes of WOOTAHOLICS, that’s who! I just made that word up, to refer to those crazed die-hard addicts of Woot.com who wait up til midnight every night to see what the next day’s product is so they can order it before it sells out.
I am not a Wootaholic, but every once in a while around midnight CST I check what’s on offer, and for the first time ever I saw the fabled “Bag of Crap” for sale!
I was SO EXCITED to see that fabled brown bag! Until… I noticed the SOLD OUT message. Damn!! Alas, I was too late.
ARRRRGGGGH!
Turns out the entire B.O.C. (affectionately referred to as “Blinged Out Cabbages” to the Wooter insiders) inventory of 3000 pieces was sold out in just ELEVEN MINUTES! Jeez, don’t these Wootaholics have anything else to do on Christmas!?!? I wonder if I’m destined to ever lay my hands on a B.O.C.
Ah, to be an etailer like Woot who gets overwhelmed by frenzied mobs of shoppers on Christmas Day. That’s brand devotion.
